(CSTV U-WIRE) GAINESVILLE, Fla. — If you want to eat dinner with Urban Meyer, you’re going to have to fork over some major cheese.

It seems the going rate for a meal with Florida’s national championship coach is $1 million.

In an effort to raise money for the $28 million “Gateway of Champions” addition to Ben Hill Griffin Stadium, the Gator Boosters office and the University Athletic Association have come up with 11 donation levels and incentives for fans willing to contribute. “An evening with the Meyers” ranks as the second-highest level of contribution at a mere $1 million. The highest level is $5 million.

The only detail worked out is the location: Meyer’s $1.5 million home. The menu has yet to be decided, but I have a feeling Hamburger Helper with a side of Green Giant Brussels sprouts isn’t going to cut it.

OK, at least in the movie “Indecent Proposal,” Robert Redford got to sleep with Demi Moore for $1 million. Sorry, Urban, I don’t think a two-hour dinner with you is quite the same. So far no one has jumped at the Meyer meal plan, so maybe alumni think this is as absurd as I do.

I mean, after all, this is just a college football coach we’re talking about. It’s not like he can feed the masses with two fish and a few loaves of bread.

There are just so many other ways to spend that $1 million, and with that in mind, I took the liberty of working out the math to come up with some alternative options.

An 18-pack of Miller Lite is on sale at Publix for $12. That’s 1,500,000 bottles of beer, or 16 brewskies for each of the 90,000 fans who attend a single UF football game. But remember: “Nobody likes a sloppy Gator.”

You and three of your friends could buy movie tickets and each purchase a small bag of popcorn plus a small soda every day for 38 years.

For the ladies out there, Carrie Bradshaw would envy your 2,000-pair Manolo Blahnik shoe collection.

Of course, we could be altruistic with our $1 million, and I’m all about karma, so giving to the greater good might not be such a bad idea.

The Make-A-Wish Foundation is a non-profit organization that grants the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions.

An average wish costs $6,200, according to the organization’s Web site, so with $1 million, you could send 161 kids to Disney World, help them meet celebrities like Dwyane Wade, or build super-duper playgrounds.

You could single-handedly supply the entire country of Monaco (pop. 32,020) with 303,951 pounds of Publix lean ground beef, or enough hamburgers to make 38 quarter-pound patties per person.

I understand sports is where the money’s at. When a school wins three national championships in little more than a year, you can’t ignore it — no matter how much Bernie Machen might want to make UF a top-10 academic school.

But we have become so enthralled with Gainesville’s sports culture that someone actually thinks it’s acceptable to ask for $1 million dollars to eat with Urban Meyer. Even Dr. Evil thought that was a lot of money.

At this rate, what’s next? A date with Tim Tebow?

Do I hear $2 million?