ACC | Big East | Big Ten | Big 12 | Pac-10 | SEC | UWIRE Top 10
Boston College, Clemson, Duke, Florida State, Georgia Tech, Maryland, Miami, North Carolina, North Carolina State, Virginia, Virginia Tech, Wake Forest
Conventional wisdom: The loss at LSU notwithstanding, the Hokies are favorites in a conference that’s seen better days. … What is wrong with Florida State and Miami lately? Bobby Bowden imported assistant coaches Jimbo Fisher and Rick Trickett to smack the lazy FSU offense in the mouth. … BC QB Matt Ryan is the official preseason player of the year, but the best players might be defenders — linebackers Vince Hall and Xavier Adibi of Virginia Tech and ends Calais Campbell of Miami and Chris Long of UVa.
Best self-deprecation: Andre Fluellen, Florida State
The big tackle, another tremendous defender, admits he’s “horrible” at the latest EA Sports college football game. Which, for a college guy, is like admitting you’re horrible at beer pong. (And yes, it’s gone too far when there’s a National Beer Pong League.)
Best head start: Taylor Bennett, Georgia Tech
After four years, Yellow Jackets fans don’t have Reggie Ball to kick around anymore. Bennett’s the guy at quarterback after filling in nicely when Ball — the definition of “wildly erratic” — managed to get himself academically ineligible for the Gator Bowl last year.
Biggest sleeping giant: North Carolina
Who cares if he failed with the Cleveland Browns? Butch Davis will have the Tar Heels up and running in no time. Remember his time at Miami? No reason that can’t happen in Chapel Hill, where they’ve got the money, coeds and athletic tradition to get young men to agree to dress in baby blue.
Most innocent-until-proven-guilty: Michael Tauiliili, Duke.
The underrated linebacker wins best off-season arrest for allegedly getting into a car accident … at 4 a.m. … while driving drunk … and underage … and carrying a concealed knife … and then pointing an air pistol at the guy whose car he hit. Duke, of course, went through a messy rush to judgment last year, so Tauiliili was reinstated to the team after an 11-day preseason suspension.
Most “dadgum” assistant coach: Chuck Amato, Florida State
“The Chest” is back! Unceremoniously shown the door after seven seasons as the head coach at North Carolina State, the most happenin’ coach in college football returns to Tallahassee to help Bobby Bowden reinvigorate the flagging Seminoles program. (And possibly find his dentures. I know they’re around here somewhere …)
Lamest position battles: Quarterback, Florida State & Miami
Two of the most badass programs in the nation are stuck watching Drew Weatherford vs. Xavier Lee and Kyle Wright vs. Kirby Freeman, respectively. Again. Meh. In the end, Weatherford and Freeman won the jobs for now.
Best gargantuan mammals: Steve Justice, Wake Forest; Andrew Crummey, Maryland
You’ve never heard of either of these guys, but they’re two of the best offensive linemen in the country. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Barest cupboard: Duke
Is there any other choice? The Blue Devils are working on a 22-game losing streak that isn’t even their longest in the past decade. At quarterback, QB Zack Asack (not to be confused with a certain similarly-named rock band) is back from last season’s plagiarism suspension, but Thaddeus Lewis still has the starting job. I apologize if this hard-hitting Duke analysis put you to sleep.
Most boring new coach: Randy Shannon, Miami
The word from the ACC’s preseason media shindig (sad excuse for a golf outing) was Shannon just puts people to sleep. Well, media types, at least. He is, however, a true ‘Cane (Class of 1989) and the conference’s second black head coach. Ever. Yes, ever. Former Wake Forest coach Jim Caldwell is the only other. Kinda sad.
Harshest hometown slight: Jim Grobe, Wake Forest
Grobe is perhaps the nation’s most underrated coach, but if he was getting a big head about his team’s 2006 ACC championship, it quickly deflated after an offseason encounter with a certain Demon Deacons fan. The man was in Winston-Salem, miles from the Wake campus. He was wearing a WF hat. And somehow, he managed to confuse Grobe with UVa coach Al Groh.