BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Jake was just two weeks past his 18th birthday when he had consensual sex with a 13-year-old girl he had been seeing casually for a few months. Soon after, she accused Jake, now an Indiana University junior, of rape.
The pair had been at a party together when it happened. They talked afterward and Jake — who asked his real name not be used because of the sensitive nature of his situation — said he told her they couldn’t maintain an intimate relationship.
Little did he know that the phone call he received a couple days later would change his life forever. It was the girl’s parents informing Jake they were accusing him of raping their daughter.
The party turned out to be his saving grace since “witnesses” to the intimacy testified that there was no aggression or violence involved. Although rape charges were later dismissed in court because the testimonies suggested the encounter was nonviolent, Jake was charged with second degree sexual assault — a Class A misdemeanor in Kentucky, landing the previously clean-slated citizen behind bars.
Though the legal issue is clear-cut, the moral implications of a situation like Jake’s are not so clear. Many argue that emotions and youth can be a dangerous mixture without knowledge of the laws that govern new-found adulthood. And now, more lenient laws outlining punishment for adults who have consensual sex with minors have been implemented in certain states, including Indiana, bringing this debate to society’s forefront.
HARD TIME
Jake had previously dated the girl’s older sister, and a “close friendship” between the two later developed, he said. As the friendship blossomed, the young girl wanted a more intimate relationship, but Jake said he did not reciprocate those feelings.
“I told her it didn’t feel right, and that we should keep to being friends only,” Jake said.
Looking back, he admits now his actions were regrettable, but by that time it was already too late.
After the accusation, Jake faced months of legal dealings and the thought of prison pounding through his head. With the continued support of family and friends, the process became slightly less painful. Still, Jake was found guilty and endured prison alone.
“Jail was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to deal with,” Jake said. “I mean, I was just a common criminal inside there. I was cut off from my family, my friends and every common thing that could be taken for granted.”
Fourteen days of sharing a cell with about 12 other men, on top of prison food, made Jake never want to go back.
“There was just no real happiness,” he said.
BLACK, WHITE AND GRAY
Jake was released to the world as a convicted sex offender, which brought a new life of weekly meetings, probation officers and public knowledge of a private past.
Jake and most other Hoosier sex offenders are required to register every year for the Indiana Sex Offender Registry. His mug shot will appear there until 2015. Even when he travels, he can’t escape the registry. By law, Jake must alert the local sheriff of any town he plans to visit for more than 72 hours, he said.
Until he thought about the possibility of being charged with a sex crime, Jake, a senior in high school at the time, had not considered the implications of his age in comparison to the high school freshman girl he was dating.
“It wasn’t one of those things on my mind,” Jake said. “I hadn’t really considered the implications of turning 18 and what it meant legally.”
And like Jake, very few people do, said Kristen Jozkowski, coordinator of IU’s Raising Awareness of Interactions in Sexual Encounters student organization. The organization is a part of the University’s Office for Women’s Affairs and seeks to educate men and women on safe and consensual sexual practices.
Still, Jozkowski believes consensual sex is impossible for a 13-year-old girl, like the one who pressed charges against Jake. She explained that even though basic sexual desires exists at this age, “you really don’t understand what is going on.” However, she expressed some sympathy for people in Jake’s situation.
“The legality of it is a black-and-white issue,” she said. “But talking about the morality — the feelings and emotions — it’s really gray.”
Though Jake has complied with his punishments, he said he hopes for a change in sex crime laws.
In several states, including Indiana, some laws have recently become more lenient. Indiana Public Law 216, which took effect July 1, decriminalizes consensual sex between an adult under 21 and a teenager no more than four years younger if the two are in a dating relationship.
Jake, who had sex with someone five years younger, has not been affected since Kentucky has not passed any laws similar to this. As a result Jake will stay on the registry for the next seven years.
While being on the registry, Jake is careful to take extra precautions in all circumstances. A re-offense could land him serious prison time.
“You constantly have to be on the lookout so you’re not in a bad situation,” he said. “An accusation against me would carry a lot further than somebody else who is not in my situation.”
Jake admits that he was wrong in his actions and expressed regret, but believes there should perhaps be a separate registry for certain sex crimes.
“In a lot of cases there’s a very set line,” Jake said. “But you’re two weeks over 18, and you have crossed that line.”
As for now, this IU student’s mugshot will remain sandwiched between a child molester and a child solicitor, available for the world to see.
“(The registry) serves a purpose,” Jake said. “It’s inconvenient, I suppose. But at the same time it’s useful. People do take it too far. People abuse it. But I think it’s worthwhile.”
A NEW LIFE
Though the road was rough, Jake learned to cope with his new life, and has even made the best of it.
In the midst of his legal troubles, Jake found support in the form of a new girlfriend. The two met at work and have been together for about two and a half years. Despite the stigma associated with sex offenders, his girlfriend, Sarah — who also requested her real name not be used because of their sensitive position — was too enamored to care.
“I was really crazy about him,” she said, smiling shyly.
Even though Sarah, now a fellow IU student, was ready to date Jake, she wasn’t sure her parents would allow it. After telling them about Jake’s situation, his dad met with her parents to explain the details of what had happened.
“I was terrified that they were going to be like, ‘No, you can’t do this,’” she said. “They knew it was going to be hard, but they were very supportive.”
Sarah expressed her frustration with the circumstances, but continues to date Jake nonetheless.
“I knew it was going to be stressful and that I was getting into something that was going to be hard,” she said. “But we’ve been through a lot together, and now I know we can pretty much make it through anything.”