Central Michigan (8-5) vs. Purdue (7-5) Wednesday, Dec. 26 | 7:30 p.m., ESPN Ford Field, Detroit Bowl Web site

PREGAME KNOWLEDGE

Laughable and/or unknown title sponsor: None!

Announcers subject to our devastating witticisms: Dave Pasch, Andre Ware, Quint Kessenich

Conventional wisdom: The Boilermakers won 45-22 when these teams met in the regular season. But Purdue will be without its best receiver, Selwyn Lymon, and the Chippewas won four of their final five games behind QB Dan LeFevour, who joins Vince Young as the only players in NCAA history to pass for 3,000 yards and run for 1,000 yards in a season.

All-star to watch: Central Michigan QB Dan LeFevour (#13)
3,360 passing yards, 23 TD; 1,008 rushing yards, 17 TD

Read up: Special sections by the Purdue Exponent and the Central Michigan Life have all you need to know.

Best counterprogramming: “My Small Breasts and I”
Three women candidly discuss how they feel about their small breast sizes and the lengths they’ll go to improve their self confidence, such as taking herbal supplements, getting implants and visiting a photo therapist. BBC, 8-9 p.m.

GAME BLOG

Bender Standings
through Hawaii Bowl (20 hrs)
NAME	HOURS
Jim	19
Ryan	9.5
Gerald	6.5
Zach	6+
Mike	3
AY	2
Gavin	2
Jon	0.5

Who’s watching — Jim Reedy, UWIRE, set for the Christmas holiday to end tomorrow … Zach Osterman, Indiana Daily Student, recovering from two days of too much food.

7:35 Jim — OK, whew, I just came through the door and here’s CMU picking off an early Curtis Painter pass. The drive goes nowhere, but a 27-yard field goal has the Chippewas up 3-0 out of the gate.

7:42 Zach — Purdue is honestly one of the best teams I’ve ever seen at looking good but actually being terrible. They hide behind their spread offense and a mediocre quarterback. And yes, I am biased.

7:45 Zach — Tiller runs the spread well, and he had more success with it before Northwestern, IU, Illinois and others picked up various forms of it, but his offense made stars of Kyle Orton and Drew Brees. This is Curtis Painter’s third year in the spread, and he’s still just blindingly average.

7:46 Jim — I have a feeling “blindingly average” is the key phrase for tonight’s game.

7:46 Zach — Painter was awful in the Oaken Bucket game.

7:47 Jim — That’s vs. Indiana?

7:49 Zach — Si. … Purdue’s defense, at least as I’ve seen them this year, has playmakers in Cliff Avril and Terrell Vincent, but those guys don’t make up for some glaring weaknesses in depth.

7:49 Jim — Two punts and an interception. This game might finish me off before I even get to tomorrow’s anticipated Holiday Bowl.

7:51 Zach – Watching Purdue hurts my face.

7:53 Zach – I love how we get halfway through the first quarter, and already the announcers are talking about how “both defenses are stepping up.” Let’s save that for the fourth quarter, boys.

7:53 Jim — It’s either that or admitting this game just sucks.

7:54 Zach — Can we just make a point of mentioning how IU is the best college football team in Indiana this year every time Purdue scores? It will make it better if they score, and if they don’t then who cares anyway?

7:55 Jim — Might as well throw you that bone — how often is IU actually the best team in Indiana? … What an awful throwing motion Painter has. But then, it was good enough for a touchdown — thanks to the Chippewas getting all flustered when Painter stepped up as if to run. 7-3, Boilermakers.

7:57 Zach — Well played by WR Dorien Bryant near the goal line after the catch. I can’t hate too much; my grandfather went to Purdue. Plus we won the Bucket, so I’ll have that for the next year anyway.

8:01 Jim – I’m not sure how long I can stand to watch pasty pale white guys run around in ugly uniforms on artificial turf.

8:03 Jim – Next guy to mention Tim Tebow in the same breath with this Dan LeFevour character gets a punch in the kidney.

8:05 Zach – LeFevour hit the ground “deceptively fast” there.

8:05 Jim — Yeah, I’m not impressed by the Chips just yet. … And that PR by Bryant was solid, but seemed mostly like crappy coverage. Wake me when someone does something halfway impressive. … OK, and that wasn’t it, but nice catch by Greg “No Relation” Orton. 14-3 Purdue, and CMU looks awful on pass coverage.

8:12 Zach — I’m interested to see if Central Michigan attacks Purdue on the ground. The Hoosiers can’t run the ball to save their life and they ran it well against the Boilers.

8:13 Jim — “It’s never good when you see a trainer working on the legs of any player.” Thanks, Andre. Brilliant insight.

8:16 Jim – Play of the game so far: Andrew Aguila hits from 47 yards, easily, and it’s 14-6. Dave Pasch got a little too excited.

8:19 Jim — Painter throws into double coverage, defenders converge a split-second too late and miss the tackle. And it’s 21-6. … Even Purdue’s academic commercial is boring.

8:21 Zach – That was Atlanta Falcons tackling there. This is making Painter look like a Heisman Trophy candidate.

8:22 Jim – Ooh. That was one of the more exciting 10-yard KO returns I’ve seen. How often does someone lateral on a kickoff return?

8:24 Jim – I can’t believe that last pass will go as a long TD pass for Painter. It was at best a mediocre, barely-got-there throw — possibly a reckless, lucky-it-wasn’t-picked throw.

8:29 Zach — If this is the best the MAC has, the conference has fallen hard from the glory days of Chad Pennington and Byron Leftwich, Urban Meyer and Ben Roethlisberger.

8:32 Zach — Man this game is awful. Central Michigan is just getting carved up. Their pass defense is just terrible. … 24-6 after a holding call wipes out a TD pass and Purdue settles for a FG.

8:35 Jim — LeFevour runs like a wimpy tight end. … WHY ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT PATS-GIANTS?!?!?

8:38 Jim — I’m pretty sure about half the CMU roster consists of 5-foot-10, 200-pound white guys.

8:41 Zach — I’m pretty sure about half the state of Michigan consists of 5-foot-10, 200-pound white guys.

8:42 Jim — ESPN props for the Purdue Exponent! Go UWIRE … oh, except the Exponent isn’t a UWIRE affiliate. Damn you!

8:43 Jim — Gotta respect the throw there from Painter, dropping it over the CB and into the receiver’s hands on the outside. Lord knows how many points the Boilers are going to put up. Andre Ware says it’s “just been magical” watching Painter so far. Well, now, I wouldn’t go nearly that far. He’s playing OK.

8:46 Jim — Chippewas LB Red Keith leads all active college players in career tackles, which I’ve got to chalk up to: a) the usual wild inconsistency in tackle stats; b) the distinct possibility that CMU spends a lot of time playing defense; c) plenty of available playing time when Keith was a freshman; and d) the fact that he’s a good player. … Oh look, another Purdue FG. 27-6 in the second quarter.

8:54 Zach — A three-touchdown lead midway through quarter No. 2. The Motor City Bowl did not want this matchup, especially after the Boilermakers whupped the Chippewas in the regular season. … Dan LeFevour is averaging 2.0 yards per pass ATTEMPT. That would be, as they say, the mathematics of defeat.

8:55 Jim — That average goes up after a heave of a TD pass down the left sideline, hauled in nicely by the fingertips of Bryan Anderson. 27-13 with four minutes left in the half.

8:57 Zach — As the announcers point out, the way to beat Painter is get pressure on him. He can be flustered.

8:59 Jim — He’s had a Brady-esque amount of time back there.

9:07 Zach — Purdue closes the half with a 1-yard TD run on fourth-and-goal. … Wow, I just realized there were 47 points scored in that half. This is the most boring shootout I’ve ever seen.

9:08 Jim — And that was the worst 339-yard first half I’ve seen from a quarterback. Butch Jones was right when he said his Chippewas have to start tackling better.

9:25 Zach — Oh no, I just realized there’s a whole second half to play. Booooo.

9:31 Jim — Oh, that was a great move. Wide open in the flat, CMU’s Antonio Brown scoots up the left sideline, helped by several Purdue defenders who apparently figured someone else would make the play, and reached the end zone after turning CB Terrell Vinson completely around with a move inside and then back outside. Boilers’ lead shrinks to 34-20.

9:32 Zach — Who’s missing tackles now, Purdue?

9:34 Zach — Dan LeHeadCold has 2 of the most receiver-dependent TD passes I’ve ever seen.

9:35 Jim — Painter’s not far behind. It’s called crappy tackling.

9:36 Zach — I rip on Painter, but that was as perfect as a streak route will ever get. 41-20, Purdue.

9:40 Jim — Wow, that is a serious knuckleball by Lefeve

9:41 Zach — Hey the knuckleball is hard to throw, especially as a quarterback. I would know. I was a Reggie Ball “fan” for four years.

9:42 Jim — The Feve can’t run.

9:42 Zach — Hey, he’s deceptively fast. DECEPTIVELY FAST, I SAY.

9:43 Jim — Yeah, i’m completely deceived.

9:44 Zach — I usually don’t know when he’s running

9:44 Jim — Heh. He just fell down at the end of that run.

9:45 Zach — The turf monster got him.

9:46 Jim — Have these defenders ever practiced defense before? Is this what the decimated FSU defense is going to look like? There wasn’t a DB or LB within 10 yards of Bryan Anderson there. 41-27, Purdue.

9:47 Zach — I could have thrown that pass. That was awful.

9:52 Jim — Big third down here for Purdue. Hell, it’s notable that one of the defenses forced a third down. … Can I say how much I hate fan bases that jingle their keys to pump up the defense on big plays?

9:54 Zach — Second time in 2.5 quarters the CMU defense “stepped up.”

9:56 Zach — Hey, we Hoosiers fans jingle our keys — and do some weird arm-pumping thing one of our DTs made up this season.

9:57 Jim — Yeah, everyone jingles their keys. What, are you unable to yell and clap your hands? If you require extra noisemakers, are you too poor to afford actual noisemakers? Buy a frikkin’ cowbell or something. Keys are so trashy and common.

10:00 Zach — That pick was entirely Bryant’s fault. In and out of his hands.

10:03 Jim — Dave Pasch is just way too excited. Calm down, man. It’s the third quarter. But damn if that wasn’t a nice juke TD run by Indiana Fever. 41-34, Purdue. … oh, Pasch, there’s a kidney punch for you. Shut up about Tebow.

10:03 Zach — Oh, he got shaken nasty by a quibbie.

10:04 Jim — Shaken nasty by a quibbie? That sounds like the Marquis de Sade.

10:05 Zach — By a QB. Us kids talk like that these days.

10:05 Jim — Oh. Hmmm.

10:09 Zach — Painter let down by another receiver. That’s why Purdue is so underwhelming.

10:10 Jim — Does Dave Pasch know this is the third quarter? His head’s going to explode in the fourth. … “It feels like it’s four minutes to go in the game,” he says. OK, dude, now quiet down.

10:20 Zach — Ooh, a deceptive touchdown.

10:21 Jim — Yes, Indiana Joe scoots in from the 5 after a Purdue fumble. Tie game. This would be really exciting if this game meant anything, or if it didn’t feel like a battle of who can suck less. But hey, there’s 82 points on the board.

10:27 Zach — Man, I’m gonna laugh if Purdue loses.

10:38 Zach — Curtis Painter overthrew a receiver? Shocking. … OK, there’s a third-down conversion. Dammit.

10:41 Jim — Touchdown, Purdue — this one an actual run. 48-41 with 8:19 left. Painter has more passing yards than anyone in Motor City Bowl history. (This is the 11th MCB, so that’s 22 starting quarterbacks. So not that many.)

10:49 Jim — OK, so it’s fourth-and-3 for CMU near midfield. Down 7 points with 5:30 left, they will punt. Hmmm. Dunno how much you can count on your defense here. We’ll see how that works. But hey, the punt rolled to the 1, so that’s good for the Chips. 5:16 left.

11:03 Jim – Nice sociological point made by Andre, tying the pop-culture reemergence of Mr. T to the resurgence of Mohawk haircuts among the nation’s college football players. Thought provoking. … and yeah, Purdue will punt it back with 2:22 left. Painter remains about 20 yards short of the Purdue passing record and CMU needs a TD to tie. They’ll take over with no timeouts on their own 35.

11:07 Jim — The Feve isn’t moving fast, but somehow, he motoring around people. He’s shifty. I don’t understand it. … 1:14 left, the Chips have it on the Purdue 20.

11:09 Zach — Oh my.

11:10 Jim — Great toss, great catch. Touchdown, Bryan Anderson on the fade to the left side of the end zone, and the extra point ties the score at 48 with a whopping 69 seconds remaining. The Boilermakers have one timeout left.

11:11 Zach — Do not kick to Dorien Bryant.

11:12 Jim — Well, they succeeded in that, but I hate when they play not to lose. Kick away from him if you must, but kick deep. Don’t give up so much field position. … And yeah, two quick completions have the Boilers close to field-goal range with 35 seconds left.

11:14 Zach — Well, that’s it.

11:14 Jim — Centered neatly in the middle of the field, Purdue calls timeout with 2 seconds left. Chris Summers to win it.

11:16 Jim — No chip shot, but Summers is true on a 40-yard FG attempt. Purdue 51, Central Michigan 48. I’ve got to say, that game got better as it progressed. Not quite sure what to make of Curtis Painter’s program-record passing day.

11:18 Zach — Good for Painter. He’s still a tool.

11:18 Jim — Fin.

POSTGAME WRAP

Final thoughts
Zach — That was an impressive second half that made me almost forget the terrible first half. Central Michigan deserves credit for fighting back, but Purdue was just too good. There’s no such thing as a moral victory, but the Chippewas will have something to carry into the offseason. Purdue deserved their win; they played well. But they still lost to IU.

Jim — I am confused by Painter’s 546 passing yards. I don’t know what to make of that. It doesn’t feel like the best performance by a QB this bowl season, but it’s got to be, right? I’ll ponder that for a while.

Game Story from The Purdue Exponent

Game Story from the CM Life

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