When watching porn in your dorm room, do you ever think about the fact that in Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation? Or, when playing Oregon Trail, do you ponder to yourself that in Deadwood, South Dakota, dresses that show your ankles or higher are illegal?

Dry humping has its place. It made every eighth grade dance a little more exciting. But these days, now that Eiffel 65 isn’t humming gently in the background, keep your jeans away from your partner’s. Nostalgia has its place, just not in the bedroom/dorm room/bathroom/back of a transit bus/ or wherever else you choose to fool around.

Threesomes, like all sexual encounters in general, just have to happen naturally. Learn from my mistakes and don’t try to force it or let one bad experience make you think threesomes don’t have the potential to be amazing. With a little luck, you may get to live the dream yourself someday.

Mr. Pleasuretron can come with an array of interchangeable dongs, one for each occasion. Boys, worry not, for there is also a Pleasuretron for you! She can be just as customizable as her manly counterpart. Both models come with a never-tiring extra-strength tongue to get at those hard to reach places.

“At first, people were like, ‘Nobody’s going to buy pink and purple,’” she said. “Even a dong, they were like, ‘We don’t want pink and purple. You’ve got to be kidding.’ I said, ‘It’s pretty. I think a lot of women will like this. I know the men don’t care, but the women will.’ And you know what? They sold.”

LOS ANGELES — Walking around campus, Tanya Lind has no trouble blending in.

She’s a junior majoring in psychology at USC.

She enjoys spending time outdoors, going to the beach and reading.

Nothing unusual, right?