LOS ANGELES — Walking around campus, Tanya Lind has no trouble blending in.

She’s a junior majoring in psychology at USC.

She enjoys spending time outdoors, going to the beach and reading.

Nothing unusual, right?

Though sex and practical jokes rarely work well, some sexperts dared to write satiric April Fools columns. Another sexpert broached a topic that could be of interest to many of these columnists: What are the telling signs of a sex addiction?

As I struggled to keep the handcuffs from digging into my skin, my girlfriend wrapped her tongue around my manhood. Bound to the bed frame, I could only moan with pleasure while she teased me by toying with the timing of my orgasm.

When I realized this kid wasn’t just reading out loud from a pickup guide-that he was actually directing the question towards me-I felt sorry for him. Samson looked like the type of guy who had spent many a night next to his Lonely Man Hand Lotion and a sticky sock.

Third, do not bathe. It may be tempting but do not shower. Pretend like you are going to a Star Trek Convention. How will women notice you if you do not give off an aroma? Animals are attracted to pheromones and humans are animals, so make sure that you give off the strongest ones possible. Also, do not worry about acne. It will make you stand out so the girl will never forget your face.

Now dear reader, Roxy Sass doesn’t think that being a sex addict is a good thing, but being a little preoccupied every once in awhile will definitely provide you a quick mood change to relaxation and joy, and so long as you put the effort in and have a partner who is healthy for you, she promises that it works every time.